Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
