she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
