dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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