If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
