I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
