Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
