I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
