would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize