matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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