It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
