One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
