just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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