You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize