Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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