her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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