I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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