Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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