I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
