Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I supernannyed him into submission
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize