you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
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