I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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