I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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