We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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