it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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