I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
