I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
