**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
