I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
