i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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