Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
