# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
