I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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