Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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