She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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