If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You ruined the universe
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
