just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
