Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
