I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
