So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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