I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
