Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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