I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
