My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my shit smells like andre
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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