I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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