I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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