if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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