new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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