Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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