I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
