I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
