well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
