Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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