how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
