I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
