I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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