Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So vagazzling was a success
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
