Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
