The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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