I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize