Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
too bad you live with your parents still
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
