You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
