i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
