In the future we'll all be gay
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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