Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
