2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
