they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
