can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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