We're facebook friends in real life
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
