the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
