Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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