Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize